Why “Divorce Is Not An Option”? How does that even work? This week, we talk about “5 Reasons to Fight For Your Marriage” and how to use these reasons to turn your marriage around.
Reason #1: You don’t know that you have not been taught how to fight for your marriage. Too many couples blame marriage. Too many couples give up on marriage. Too many spouses blame the other spouse. Too many couples have been taught that fighting for your marriage is actually fighting your spouse. So fighting for your marriage is fighting as if husband and wife are on the same team. The team is fighting for victory. Sometimes you will see in a sports competition a player decide to take the game over. You will see a player just decide “We.Will.Not.Lose.” We want husbands and wives to develop an attitude that they will not lose in marriage.
Reason #2: One person can save a marriage. Example: When the team loses everyone blames the head coach. If you are a Christian your head coach in marriage is God. So husband you are an assistant coach, wife you are an assistant coach. Each assistant coach needs to do their job independent of each other. The defensive coach needs worry about defense. The offensive coach needs to worry about offense. Husbands need to worry about being better husbands. Wives need to worry about being better wives.
Reason #3 I have brought marriages come back from the depths of hell. The marriage is not over until the ink is dry on the divorce decree, and even then things can turn around. I have helped couples fight for their marriages through cheating, abuse, financial difficultly, etc. I have seen it all and all marriages are worth saving. I don’t judge the problem, I just develop solutions.
Reason #4 Marriage is on the job training. You don’t know what you are doing. We probably all get married and for a certain amount of days, months, or years we are a bad spouse until we figure out our role. It took me a solid 2 years to figure out what I was doing. You will have to give each other grace, forgiveness, and space to grow. Don’t evaluate your marriage on a daily basis, your job doesn’t do that to you, why are you doing it to your spouse. Marriage is a long term commitment.
Reason #5 Chances are that if you quit this marriage, you will get married again and you will have problems in that marriage also. So take this opportunity right now to learn how to be a “Problem Solver” instead of just a “Problem Identifier.” A “Problem Identifier” offers no solutions. They just complain. Stop doing that. Take some time, think about solutions…an argument can be turned into a compromise or a fight. It’s your choice.
Be sure to call into the “Divorce Is Not An Option” Podcast hotline and leave your relationship question or comments: (469) 294-3795.
Tamara Derouselle is a wife and bonus mom of two boys. She is a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., a makeup artist, an aspiring real estate mogul, an all-around side hustler and, for the past 10 years, she has been a ghostwriter and editor for some of the hottest literary works of art available in the relationship space. You can currently find Tamara creating content and co-hosting one of the podcast universe’s fastest-growing podcasts, Divorce Is Not an Option.
Steven James Dixon is a husband, father, relationship expert and author of two books: Men Don’t Heal, We Ho–A Book About the Emotional Instability of Men, and 2018’s hottest release, Love Capacity. Steven has been featured as a relationship coach on television: CNN, WGN, Arise TV (London), Flash TV (South Africa), CBS News, Fox News, UPN and the CW. He has also been featured on radio: Tom Joyner, Michael Baisden, Rickey Smiley, Doug Banks, HOT 97 (New York), KJLH (LA), WGCI (Chicago), V103 (Atlanta), 97.9 (Houston), K104 (Dallas) and many others.