No one is absolved of feeling. I don’t care how often you say, “F*** your feelings,” it just isn’t true. No matter how numb you may attempt to make yourself, some sort of emotion will creep in.
And if we are totally honest with ourselves, we do not always handle our emotions the best way, especially when provoked.
For many people, the holiday season forces us to interact with certain loved ones and associates we have the privilege of avoiding the rest of the year. Hell, most of us are tested beyond the holiday season. So if you absolutely must be around someone who irks your soul—whether it be an annoying in-law or obnoxious co-worker—here are three tips to better manage your emotions:
1. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.
One of the worse things you can do is suppress your emotions. In doing so, you grant them even more power to rule over you because they are fighting to be released. That’s a recipe for disaster and sets you up to be a ticking time bomb. Instead, acknowledge what you are feeling. Understand that what you feel is for the time being, and it will pass if you choose to work through your emotions. It is often better to deal with your feelings while they are happening so you can process and get through them.
2. Know when and when not to address how you feel with someone.
We are certainly entitled to feel what we feel, but that does not mean our feelings are 100-percent accurate all the time. When engaging with others, everyone often brings his or her insecurities, thoughts, behaviors and assumptions to the conversation. Sometimes you may trip. That’s why it is best to acknowledge what you feel internally first. Take time to process and reflect on your feelings and what caused them. When you are able to rationally approach the situation, have the conversation, if need be.
3. Discuss your emotions only with the goal of solutions.
We can often become wrapped up in the cycle of proving who is right or wrong. You can say some ugly things when attempting to prove your point, and in the process dismiss the other party’s point of view completely. Do not have a conversation with someone who has upset you unless you can put your ego aside. Sometimes the offense isn’t about right or wrong but making sure it doesn’t happen again.