I’m not one to tell folks what to do, but if you ask my opinion, expect a raw, unfiltered and very caring response.
We all know that one couple who shouldn’t be together, let alone with anyone for that matter. Hell, we may know two or three. Honestly, we may even BE that couple. Either way, it’s easier for people outside of your situation to provide you with a much more objective and clearer perspective regarding your relationship, and if you should even be in one. Just sayin.’
Here are a few reasons why you should probably be single.
1) You’re in love with someone else.
It may seem obvious, but for the hardheaded folks in the back understand that you CANNOT erase your feelings for some by getting with someone else. That just isn’t how emotions work. Plus, it just is not fair to the person you’re with. Remain single and date yourself until you’re ready to commit again.
2) You feel alone in your relationship.
You’re in love and fiercely committed to trying to make things work with your mate. The problem is that you’re the only one who is showing up for and in the relationship. You know what’s worse than being single? Feeling single while you’re not. Just sayin.’
3) Your mate is mentally, physical and/or emotionally draining.
Everything’s an argument. Your mate has zero chill in the worse way. He or she is always or your back about something and you simply feel like you cannot do anything right. While you and the Creator (if you believe) are your ultimate peace, your mate should be your second human (besides yourself) to bring you such comfort. There is no reason why the one you share your bed, body and spirit with should not be the blanket that you need during cold months.
4) Their presence irks your soul more than usual.
Everyone will not be everybody’s favorite person all of the time. But what shouldn’t be happening is you dreading spending time with, going home to and or interacting with your mate on a regular basis. If you are finding that you are more irritated by your significant other than satisfied, perhaps it isn’t a bad idea to consider your options: one of them being dissolving the relationship.
5) When you are not whole.
I wrote a whole article on the importance of being whole before finding your other half. If you do not commit to falling in love with yourself, there’s no way you can ever convince someone else too. Loving yourself doesn’t absolve you of self-improve; it simply serves as a constant reminder of how great you are AND will undoubtedly be a blueprint for how others need to love and appreciate you.
Shantell E. Jamison is EBONY’s senior editor of love and relationships. Her book, Drive Yourself in the Right Direction, is available on Amazon. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter @Shantell_em and Instagram @Shantell_em.